Naming Your Values
This guidance is most helpful for the high-achieving mother who feels like she is "performing" her life rather than living it, and it is most useful during major transitional seasons—such as returning from leave, pivoting careers, or navigating a change in her child’s needs—when her old coping mechanisms no longer bridge the gap between her reality and her well-being.
Contributed By: Jenny Remington · Certified Coach & Founder, Jenny Remington Coaching
The Core Challenge
The goal of this workbook is to help you move from a state of reactive survival to one of intentional alignment. By getting clear on your core values, you can begin to filter out the external "shoulds" and build a life that feels grounded in who you actually are—not just who you are serving.
Key insight
Getting clear on your values transforms your perspective from a defensive "doing it all" to a proactive "doing what matters," turning your values into a filter that automatically silences external noise and "shoulds." By defining your own metrics for success, you replace chronic guilt with a sense of internal authority, allowing you to make high-stakes choices about your time and energy with clarity rather than apology. This shift ensures that your life is no longer a series of compromises, but a deliberate expression of who you are as a mother, a professional, and an individual.
Practical Strategies
1. Create Space to Reflect: Clarity requires the room to breathe. Give yourself time to consider what makes your heart sing and what truly fires you up. You might journal on the "unspoken rules" you follow, the lessons you want to teach, or the qualities you seek in others. Even describing your perfect day can reveal what you cherish most. The goal is to get out of your head and into your heart.
2. Generate Your List: Values aren't just labels; they explain why you make the decisions you do. They define how you show up and the person you strive to be. Because every person is a unique "constellation" of beliefs, this process is profoundly empowering. Begin by listing 25+ words that feel like guiding principles, such as harmony, adventure, excellence, or authenticity.
3. Narrow to Your Top 10: From your initial list, identify the 10 values that feel most essential. If you’re stuck, ask: Which of these would I defend even if it cost me something? If several words feel related—like "creativity" and "innovation"—choose the single one that resonates most deeply. Each of your final ten should feel distinct and non-negotiable.
4. Honor Your Current Season: As you review your list, consider what matters most to you right now. Values can shift as we move through different chapters of life. While you may have prioritized "community" while raising a family, you might find that "independence" carries more weight after a major career change. Allow your values to reflect the person you are today.
5. Make Them Visible: Once you’ve landed on your top 10, put them where you can see them: on your mirror, your phone, or your bedside table. Share them with your family to spark meaningful conversations about what matters to each of you. Bringing these words into the light helps them evolve from abstract concepts into a living practice.
A Small First STep
Pick one value that feels particularly resonant right now. Ask yourself: What is one small way I can breathe life into this value today? Then, go do it. Transformation begins with a single, aligned choice.
As an ICF Certified Coach and bestselling author, Jenny specializes in the intersection of professional growth and personal well-being. She blends strategic clarity with deep self-compassion, providing a safe space for high-achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs to do transformative work.
For additional resources, visit: https://jennyremington.com/
Optional:
To a digital workbook to guide you on this process, you can download “Naming & Claiming My Values” here: https://jennyremington.com/values Use code: WORKINGMOM to access this resource for FREE.
